


Anxiety's a Bitch

by ChubuPeng



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - No Killing Game (Dangan Ronpa), Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Angst, Anxiety, Cats, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:27:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25705918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChubuPeng/pseuds/ChubuPeng
Summary: Saihara didn’t mind. Just having someone by his side was enough.It did not take long for the detective’s anxiety to dissipate.Or, 5 times Shuichi almost had an emotional breakdown and the 1 time he actually did.(chap 7 is a little bonus (; )
Relationships: Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 59





	1. Morning Nerves

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Off kilter](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22985563) by [ToxicPineapple](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToxicPineapple/pseuds/ToxicPineapple). 



> uhh this is somewhat venty but not rly. warning: heavy projection onto shuichi. this is something im writing on the side bc why not
> 
> more charac tags and additional tags to be added, i just cant think of who else will appear in future chaps rn
> 
> oh yeah i thought this chap was longer (at least it looked like it on google docs) but i guess not whoops
> 
> but uh yeah enjoy hehe
> 
> UHH I FORGOT TO ADD: SPOILERS ON RANTARO'S TALENT I GUESS but rly u prob shouldnt be reading this until u finished the game cos i might forget if im spoiling when writing and posting this LOL

For some reason, Saihara’s anxiety levels were incredibly high today. He had a feeling he’d be having an off day when he woke up this morning so he had gone ahead and put on his hat for the day. The black cap fit comfortably around his head. He pulled the brim of it down over his eyes when he had left his room and made his way to the dining hall.  


His friends, Akamatsu especially, had told him countless times he would look better without it and that he shouldn’t shield his eyes all the time, but Saihara often found himself seeking comfort in the familiar fashion item. He told himself he would only wear it on days he felt like he would experience the most anxiety. And today was one of those days.    
  
As Saihara passed through the building on his way to the dining hall, he kept his head down the whole time. He felt judging stares weighing down on his shoulders. His breath would hitch when he had to pass through a crowd of students.    
  
Saihara wished he had stayed in his room. Unfortunately, he and his friends made a promise that they should all meet at the dining hall around 7:30 in the morning. When the proposal came up for the first time, Saihara had dreaded it. He wasn’t really a morning person. He’d rather sleep until noon usually. However he did not want anybody dragging him out of bed if he did so. He especially wouldn’t have been prepared for the confrontation that came after it about him sleeping the whole day.   
  
_ Hey _ , Saihara couldn’t help the fact that he required more sleep than others. While most of it was his fault for staying up so late solving cases at times, the other thing that was responsible was his mental health. His depression had been manageable these days, but it still left the detective exhausted easily. But hey, at least he had coffee, which was the reason he was heading to the dining hall.   
  
  
It did not take long for him to reach his destination. However,  Saihara found himself lingering around the doors of the dining hall. He wasn’t sure what kept him from going in. Maybe it was the thought of everyone’s eyes latching onto him when he stepped on through. He shuddered at the mental image.    
  
What if everyone could see how tired he was? Maybe they would point out his eye bags and lecture him at how terrible he looked and how bad he was at taking care of himself.    
  
Or what if they thought he hated them if he made it clear he wasn’t up for talking today? That was one possibility that worried him the most.   
  
  
Saihara couldn’t ignore how fast his heart was beating and how each breath he took was getting shakier than the last as each new worrying thought appeared in his mind. Saihara’s hands trembled at his sides. He clenched them into fists, fingers twitching as they were desperate for something to fidget with. He found his hands playing with the sleeve of his uniform.    
  
Saihara didn’t know how many people were inside.  _ What if they started asking him questions? _ He knew his friends were always like that whenever they saw him appearing in the dining room with his hat. They’d question if he was okay and if he needed anything, to which the detective would just shake his head and reassure them saying he was fine. Usually he was anything but fine if he had to wear his hat for the day, but Saihara didn’t want them to worry.    
  
The detective was startled out of his thoughts from a deep, familiar voice behind him. His arms shot up at his chest as if to protect himself.   
  
“Oh, morning, Saihara-kun,” Saihara turned around and was met with the Ultimate Adventurer waving at him with a smile. Saihara couldn’t bring himself to wave back as his hands began tugging at his uniform.    
  
Amami held his hands up in surrender. “Woah, hey.” He let out a lighthearted chuckle and awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you like that.” The adventurer looked at him in concern before asking, “Are you okay?”   
  
Saihara, realizing he wasn’t in any actual danger, let one arm fall by his side, but the other was still nervously over his chest gripping at the fabric of his uniform. Saihara managed to nod, gulping before he spoke. “Y-Yeah, A-Amami-kun. I’m fine…” The detective couldn’t meet Amami’s gaze. Well, not like he really could with the brim of his hat covering most of his vision.  


Saihara’s words didn’t seem to convince Amami, not like the detective could blame him. It was a terrible lie and both of them knew it.   
  


Amami took a step closer and pressed further. “Are you sure? Because to me you don’t seem fine,” he said as he crossed his arms. His eyebrows furrowed in concern.    
  
Saihara closed his eyes and exhaled a shaky breath.  _ Well _ , there seemed to be no point in hiding it anymore. The cat was out of the bag. Upon opening his eyes, the detective focused them on Amami’s necklace. It hung loosely around the adventurer’s collarbone. He wondered where he got it from. Maybe he could ask about that some other day.   
  
“ _ A-Ah…  _ Okay, you got me.” The detective attempted to laugh but it came out extremely forced. He was hoping it’d loosen up his nerves but it seemed to do the exact opposite. “I-I’m j-just a bit... _ nervous _ today, th-that’s all…” he painfully admitted with a forced smile. Saihara pulled his hat down further. His eyes wandered onto the pattern on Amami’s shirt that resembled a ship’s steering wheel.    
  
Ship. Steering wheel. Saihara wished he could  _ steer _ his way out of this situation. He mentally chuckled at his stupid pun.   
  
  
“Nervous?” Amami questioned. “About what?”   
  
Saihara struggled for words. Even he was unsure about his feelings today. “I…d-don’t really know, to be perfectly h-honest...”    
  
That was the thing with anxiety. It was unpredictable, uncontrollable, and unavoidable. It was the worst. Saihara always hated how unlucky he was to have to deal with this on a daily basis. Usually he managed to keep things under control but sometimes the detective had a bit too much on his plate to even handle his emotions correctly.    
  
Amami hummed. “I see.” Saihara assumed the adventurer was nodding. He could see Amami put a hand to his chin as he thought. “Do you happen to need something?”   
  
Saihara wasn’t prepared for the question. “N-Need...something…?”   
  
Amami fiddled with his necklace. “Yeah. I mean, you’re at the dining hall for a reason, right? Then surely you came all the way over here for something.”   
  
“Ah, I see… I was just going to get myself some coffee, but…” His eyes glanced over at the dining room doors before looking back at Amami. The small amount of courage that bubbled in his chest vanished all too suddenly. “I-It’s nothing, I’m just gonna go back to my room... “    
  
  
It was fine. He could live without his coffee for a bit. He’d just be extremely tired as he worked on his cases, but that was fine. He was fine. He could deal without it for now. Anything was better than walking into the dining room at the moment. Anything was better than dealing with those judging eyes that would be on him as soon as he entered.   
  
Saihara moved past the adventurer in a hurry before he felt a hand grabbing his wrist, stopping him in his path. He flinched relatively hard at the sudden contact but didn’t have enough energy to pull away at the moment. That or he was too stunned to do anything.   
  
“Saihara-kun. Please wait.” The detective hoped Amami didn’t feel how hard he was trembling in his grip. “Really, it’s fine. I could brew a cup for you if you’d like.”    
  
Saihara didn’t respond. He considered prying himself from the adventurer’s grip and just sprinting back to his room. But then he also considered the possibility of Amami running after him on his way back and the thought of that didn’t sound very pleasant.    
  
“Really, it’s no trouble,” Amami repeated, reassuring him in a gentle voice.    
  


Was it really no trouble? Sure, making coffee was easy, but why go through all that just for him? All because a certain anxious detective couldn’t muster up the courage to walk into the dining hall and do it himself.   
  
No, Amami was offering  _ because _ he cared about him. They were friends after all, and friends cared for each other.  _ Yeah, that’s it, _ Saihara thought.    
  
...Or maybe he was doing this because he pitied the detective. That couldn’t be the case... _ could it? _ All too quickly, his mind was plagued with doubt. He wished he could shut off his brain for just a few minutes.   
  
  
Despite the internal battle in his mind, he couldn’t bring himself to decline Amami’s kind offer. Slowly, Saihara nodded. He couldn’t see Amami’s reaction with his back still turned.   
  
The grip on his wrist loosened. Saihara tried not to think about how much he started missing the touch. “Alright. I’ll be back in a sec. Sit tight,” Amami said before entering the dining hall. Saihara remained standing.   
  
A second hardly passed before he returned. Saihara looked over towards the doors when he heard them swing open and saw Amami step on out.    
  
“Haha... I kinda forgot to ask how you liked your coffee,” Amami said, sounding a bit embarrassed. Saihara peeked out from under his hat and saw him awkwardly rubbing the back of his head with a hint of pink dusting his cheeks. Saihara found himself smiling a bit at this sight.   
  
“Ah, that’s fine,” the detective reassured him. “I actually like mine a bit sweet.”   
  
He tried drinking it black once but he was quickly turned away from the bitterness of it. He couldn’t understand how his uncle managed to consume it everyday.    
  
“Got it,” Amami said before disappearing into the dining room again.    
  
It took a few minutes before he returned with two steaming mugs in his hand. Saihara figured one was made for each of them. The detective found himself wondering how Amami liked his coffee. Maybe he could find out another time.    
  
_ Another time? _ Well, Saihara certainly wouldn’t mind doing this again. He quite enjoyed hanging out with Amami.   
  
  
Saihara muttered a quick thanks when he was handed one of the cups. The adventurer then slid down against the wall and sat cross-legged on the cold, tiled floor.   
  
Saihara looked at him in bewilderment. “Uh, what are you doing?”   
  
Amami held up his mug. The beverage inside swished around at his movement. “I’m drinking my coffee, what else?” Amami gave a light chuckle before leaning his back against the wall once more and took a sip from his mug. Noticing the detective still standing there, he continued. “Why don’t you join me, Saihara-kun?” Amami patted the spot next to him.   
  
_ Was...Amami trying to keep him company? _ The detective appreciated the gesture. He noted that Amami was pretty good at this. Perhaps it was because he had experience caring for twelve younger sisters.    
  
Saihara supposed sitting down and drinking with Amami wouldn’t hurt. “Sure,” he said, his smile matching that of the adventurer’s, before sitting down next to him.  **** They sat in silence as they enjoyed their drinks. Saihara didn’t mind. Just having someone by his side was enough.   
  
  
It did not take long for the detective’s anxiety to dissipate. 


	2. Catnapped

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “...Say, Saihara?” Hoshi spoke up hesitantly. “Could you do me a favor?”
> 
> Though his mind was screaming at him to get away from the situation, Saihara couldn’t help his curiosity. “What is it?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was rly in the mood when i woke up today to write so i quickly came out with this! hope yall like it 
> 
> also i rly love ryoma hes just so cool and he gives some rly good advice sometimes ok

_Why, why, why. Why did there have to be so many people here today?_ _  
__  
_The detective just wanted to grab a book or two from the library to read today. Unfortunately it seemed like half of the school had plans to do so as well. Well, that was probably an exaggeration, but still, it was a lot of people. And it was something Saihara definitely did _not_ want to deal with today.  
  
Normally he managed well in crowded areas, but it was just his luck that his anxiety started acting up as soon as he stepped inside. With how quiet the room was, Saihara swore everyone could’ve heard how loud he was as he struggled with his breathing.  
  
Eventually, to save himself from further embarrassment, the detective fled the room in a hurry, keeping his head down the whole way as he made his way to the exit. Everyone probably had their eyes glued on him as he left. His heart was still hammering when he stepped out into the hall. **_  
_** **  
**Saihara walked a few feet away from the library before turning a corner and stopping to lean his back against the wall. His legs wobbled as he tried to keep himself upright, back pressing deeper into the wall.  
  
Why did he stop here? Even Saihara didn’t know, he couldn’t give you an answer. He wanted nothing but to go back to his room and hide for the next century but his feet were glued to where he was. _Hopefully no one was around. Hopefully no one was around to see him like this, on the verge of breaking down in some hallway. Hopefully—_  
 **  
**“Saihara. Are you okay?” A deep voice—the deepest amongst his friends—asked him, startling him out of his thoughts. He didn’t have to look to know it was Hoshi.  
  
 _No_ , Saihara desperately wanted to blurt out but was unable to. The trembling only worsened as he thought back to his experience in the library. His breathing quickened and his hands began clutching at his chest, nails digging into the fabric of his uniform.  
  
  
“Hey, hey. C’mon kid. Take in some deep breaths.”  
  
Deep breaths. Deep breaths. _Right, he could manage that._ Saihara closed his eyes, shutting everything out around him as he focused on getting his lungs to work properly. After a moment, it became a bit easier to breathe, but some of the nervous energy still lingered. At least he wasn’t on the verge of a breakdown anymore.  
  
  
“...So, what’s bothering you?” Hoshi spoke up after Saihara managed to calm down a bit.  
  
The detective pulled his hat over his eyes. Unfortunately with the height difference, he was still able to meet the tennis player’s gaze. He quickly broke their eye contact and focused his attention on the floor instead. “I, um, well… I…”  
  
“Take your time,” Hoshi said gently.  
  
Saihara took in a breath to prevent himself from rambling, and possibly self-destructing on the spot. “I, ah, i-it’s nothing. J-Just a bit stressed at the moment.” His gaze found its way towards the library momentarily. Hoshi noticed this.  
  
Hoshi hummed and lowered his candy cigarette from his mouth. “Hm. Was it crowded today?”  
  
“Crowded…?”  
  
Hoshi gestured towards the library with the same hand that was holding the candy. Saihara noted he was halfway finished with the stick. “The library. Was it crowded today?” he repeated.  
  
The tennis player hit the nail right on the head. “A-Ah… I guess you could say that,” Saihara chuckled nervously and found himself messing with the sleeve of his uniform. The tennis player nodded in understanding.  
  
The conversation quickly died there. Hoshi shifted around on his feet awkwardly, probably because he didn’t know how to comfort the anxious detective. Saihara couldn’t blame him. He was probably a pain to deal with in his current emotional state.  
  
  
“...Say, Saihara?” Hoshi spoke up hesitantly. “Could you do me a favor?”  
  
Though his mind was screaming at him to get away from the situation, Saihara couldn’t help his curiosity. “What is it?”  
  
“I have something I need to find.” Hoshi pulled his hat over his eyes. “Sorry, I’m not exactly good at this kinda stuff...but maybe it’ll take your mind off things... Calm your nerves, you know? I’d always distract myself with a little tennis.”  
  
It was true. Saihara sometimes distracted his mind by busying himself with a few cases. His friends often wondered how he managed to calm himself down by focusing on his work. Saihara figured that being in detective mode just made him forget all of his problems at the moment.  
  
Whatever it was Hoshi was looking for, he clearly seemed desperate in finding it. Plus it wouldn’t hurt to hang out with the tennis player for a while. The two of them hadn’t done much of that recently. Saihara found himself slowly nodding with a smile. “Sure.” 

* * *

“So, uh, Hoshi-kun,” Saihara spoke up as they approached the tennis player’s dorm room “What was it you were trying to find?”  
  
Hoshi stared straight ahead at the door with his hands in his pockets. Saihara noted that he finished his candy cigarette a while ago. “It’s my cat,” he said simply.  
  
“Your cat?” Saihara questioned. “But I thought pets weren’t permitted in the dorms?”  
  
Hoshi turned to face the detective and lowered his voice. “I know that. I snuck her inside, but it was only going to be for a couple of days.” His expression softened as he continued to talk about his feline friend. “She was getting pretty lonely at home, so I thought she could use some company for a few days.”  
  
“Ah, I see…” Saihara sympathized. He smiled at how much Hoshi cared for his feline companion.  
  
“I already tried looking for her myself before I came to you, but obviously I couldn’t find her. I figured maybe she could be hiding in some of the high places in the room, so…” Hoshi trailed off.  
  
Saihara nodded, understanding what the tennis player meant. “Yeah. I got it.”  
  
And with that, Saihara and Hoshi began searching around the room, examining every nook and cranny for the feline.

* * *

The two of them searched high and low for the feline. After about ten minutes or so, the tennis player gave up, all the hope inside him had instantly vanished. Saihara insisted that they continue checking, this time looking much more thoroughly around the room. After all, how could a cat just suddenly vanish from his room?  
  
Once again, the two came up with nothing after about thirty minutes.  
  
“Hmph. Looks like she really isn’t here,” Hoshi sat on top of his bed hunched over as he chewed on a new candy cigarette. His face was turned away from the detective, probably so Saihara couldn’t see how dejected he was from their failed search attempt.  
  
“Ah...How can you be so certain? Perhaps there was a way she could’ve escaped.” Saihara never had a cat before, but he knew they were pretty sneaky at times.  
  
The detective took a seat next to the tennis player, mattress dipping under his weight. He saw Hoshi relax his shoulders a little from his presence.  
  
Hoshi sighed and pulled down his hat slightly over his eyes. “Trust me, Saihara. The door was locked. There’s no way she could have left the room.”

  
Saihara put a hand to his chin and pondered that statement. Was that really the case? Could Hoshi actually be sure that wasn’t a possibility? Obviously a cat would be unable to turn a doorknob, but maybe…  
  
As he carefully examined the entire room again, he deduced that nobody had forced their way in. There was no sign of a struggle, after all. Suddenly, an idea clicked into his head. It was possible that someone had broken into Hoshi’s room using a special technique, and that special technique required a little bit of lockpicking.  
  
And who among them could pick locks? Saihara narrowed it down to the only suspect: a certain little supreme leader. Saihara shot up from the bed and made his way to the door.  
  
“Where are you going…?” Hoshi looked at the detective with confusion.  
  
Saihara gave the tennis player a confident smile. “I think I have an idea where your cat could be.” And with that he left the room. Hesitantly, Hoshi soon followed after.

* * *

Hoshi craned his neck up at the nameplate. “Ouma’s room…?” Hoshi questioned when they arrived in front of the supreme leader’s door. Realization then seemed to have struck the tennis player as he whipped his head around to face the detective. “Wait, you think Ouma—”  
  
Saihara cut him off, clearly in detective mode. “At least 99% sure.” He raised his hand and knocked on the supreme leader’s door firmly. There was the sound of movement inside before the two were met with a familiar face grinning at them.  
  
“Oh! Hoshi-chan! My _beloved_ !” Saihara noted how Ouma reserved a warm smile just for the detective when he mentioned him. Ouma’s eyes landed on Saihara’s hat for a split second but he didn’t comment on it. “What can I do for ya?” Ouma said innocently with his hands clasped behind his back. Saihara also noted how the question was directed at him and not the tennis player.  
  
The door wasn’t open the entire way with Ouma blocking the door from moving any further with his right foot inside the room. Clearly Ouma was hiding something, though he didn’t really put much effort in covering his tracks. Almost as if he _wanted_ Saihara to uncover the truth.  
  
  
“Ouma-kun, what are you hiding?” Saihara asked.  
  
“Hm? I’m not hiding anything, Saihara-chan!” _Clearly a lie,_ the detective noted.  
  
Tired of the supreme leader’s antics, Hoshi cut to the chase. “Ouma. Open the damn door,” Hoshi said impatiently.  
  
“Uwahh… Hoshi-chan is so scary…” Ouma shrunk from Hoshi’s words, looking intimidated. Saihara did not think this was genuine, but Ouma eventually complied, letting the tennis player and detective into his room.  
  


Upon entering, they were met with the sight of a cat resting on Ouma’s bed.  
  
“Wait, Ouma...? _You_ had my cat all along?!” Hoshi glared at the supreme leader in front of him.  
  
Ouma put his hands up, taking a step back. “Woah, relax, Hoshi-chan. I just wanted to have a little bit of fun with your precious kitty cat! Besides...”—Ouma put a finger over his mouth and smirked—“it’s not like you were exactly good at keeping her a secret.”  
  
Hoshi looked to the side. “Hmph. What? Are you gonna rat me out now?”  
  
Ouma tilted his head and put a finger to his cheek. “ _Huuuuh?_ Now why would I do that?” The supreme leader quickly started gathering crocodile tears. “D-Do you really th-think I’m that h-heartless, Hoshi-chan?”  
  
Saihara intervened before Ouma began his fake crying. “Ouma-kun, _please_ ,” he sighed, lifting the brim of his hat a bit. He was already feeling less nervous from being around his friends. “I can see through your act.”  
  
Instantly the supreme leader wiped away his tears and put on a smile. “Nishishi! Ooh, you got me! My beloved really knows me well~” He then sat down onto his bed and pulled the cat into his lap.  
  
Saihara flushed as he pulled his hat back down a bit, hoping it’d hide some of the redness on his face. “A-Anyway, Ouma-kun, I think Hoshi-kun will be taking back his cat now.”  
  
“Whaaat? So soon? But whyyy?” Ouma whined much like a child being told it was time for bed.  
  
“Actually,” It was Hoshi who spoke up. “I think she could stay here a little while longer,” he said with a smile as he walked over to join Ouma and the cat on the bed. The tennis player noticed Saihara was still standing there. “Why don’t you join us? I can see it in your eyes that you want to pet her as well,” he offered.  
  
 _Ah._ Looked like Hoshi had figured him out. Saihara had to admit that he’d been eyeing the fluffy feline as soon as the two of them entered the supreme leader’s room. He never really pet a cat before, only watching them from a distance whenever he came across one. He was curious as to how soft her fur would feel under his palm.  
  
Saihara made his way over to the bed and sat to the left of Ouma.  
  
Sensing the detective’s hesitancy, the tennis player spoke up. “Don’t worry, she’s friendly. Here, she really likes it when you pet her on her neck.” Hoshi reached over to grab one of Saihara’s hands and placed it over the back of the cat’s neck.  
  
 _So...soft…_ Saihara began giving the feline gentle pats along the neck. Her fur felt so smooth and silky. Pretty soon, the sound of purring filled the room. The cat closed her eyes, leaning into the touch. 

  
From being around his friends and from petting the cat, Saihara found himself relaxing with his anxiety no longer weighing him down. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i didnt feel like giving the cat a name sooo u can use ur imagination if u want
> 
> and hehe i wanted to throw in a bit of kokichi (and a little bit of saiouma (; ) because hell yes i love him
> 
> but ah hopefully this was enjoyable! let me know in the comments if youd like (:
> 
> thank you for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> these r gonna be relatively short sorry but im tired heheh
> 
> uhh let me know if i forgot anything or if theres any typos n stuff , still trying to get the hang of this


End file.
